Last Night: Washington, Oklahoma

Went out to Washington last night, a JV doubleheader against Tuttle. This was my 6th or 7th game for a Tuttle team this season, and the coaches know me by sight now. It was a beautiful night (finally!!), and the games were good. To an umpire, "good" means "quick." Umpires prefer nothing more than quick games. Games can be actually quick, due to a short time limit like you might have in a tournament or a huge mismatch that leads to a 3-inning run rule. Games can also just feel quick, because they are tight and exciting, with bats on the balls, pitchers right around the strike zone, kids making plays, and lots of competitive tension.

High-quality baseball can occur at any level, and it's really great to see when two teams are at just about the same level, because it keeps the game close, makes it interesting, and makes it quick. We umpires are like anyone else, in that we want to see high-quality baseball, because you have a lot more fun calling those games than you do calling walkfests. Walkfests? That's where you have two pitchers who couldn't throw a strike to a 20-foot-tall batter standing next to a 10-foot-wide plate. Nothing drags as much as those games. Batters quit swinging, knowing that the pitchers aren't throwing strikes. No batters swinging means no hits, and no hits means

BOOOOOORRRRIIIIIIIINNNGGG!!!

Now, here's a little secret about umpires: we LOVE to call strikes and outs. Strikes lead to outs, and outs make the game go faster. In fact, on close plays, where it could go either way, we're much more likely to call an out because it moves the game along. This isn't true in all cases but is nearly universally the general guideline. Some umpires will say they don't call that way, that they can always tell on every play no matter how close if he's safe or out, and maybe they can. But if I watch the runner's foot hit the bag and hear the ball hit the first-baseman's glove, and those two things appear simultaneous to my perception, I'm going to call you out about 90% of the time. The same goes for strikes. If it's a borderline pitch, I'm probably going to call it a strike...because it moves the game along and reminds the hitter that he needs to think about hitting, not about walking. There are other factors involved, like if the ball was fielded cleanly, if the runner is hustling or not, the sorts of things that determine advantage/disadvantage (which is a very important concept in consistent officiating in any sport). But assuming everything is "normal", you're usually going to be out.

Baseball is for hitting, running, and scoring, not standing and walking. Everyone is a lot happier when the game is moving and things are happening.

I. WANT. THIS. CAR.

I've already talked about this before, but I just can't stand it any longer.

And primarily because, on the Chris Mallow List of Dream Cars, we have a new NUMBER ONE. The first holder of the top spot was Lane Meyer's 1967 Camaro SS. That still has a special place in my heart (and a spot on the Dream Car list), not only because it's my first car love but also because it's just a flat-out bitchin' car. As time went on, the spot was held by the Vector W8 Twin Turbo, the Porsche 959, both of which lost their spot mostly because I became realistic (i.e., realized I would never be able to afford either of them). So as you can see, the Dream Car list has migrated toward vehicles I could conceivably own without having to win the Powerball to get one. More rugged honorees were the Unimog ("The WHAT, Chris?" Just click through the link) and the Land Rover Defender 110. Most recently, the 1969 Ford Mustang Boss 302 was the Dream Machine.

Today, however, a new car has taken the pole position. And here it is:


That's right, a 2011 Ford Mustang GT 5.0. Yep...FIVE-POINT-OH. You all know I recently gushed over how I excited I was about its coming. But it still was missing something, mostly because I still prefer the lines of the 2005-2009 Mustangs to the newer 2010-2011 look. But all those reservations are gone. I just finished reading the First Drive review over at AutoBlog. (Go read the whole thing.) I must say that, knowing those guys' tastes, this is incredibly high praise and has officially pushed me over the edge. I am ready to buy one.

...tomorrow. Don't tell Heidi.

Bill Tipton Field, Carl Albert High School

I've been a bit remiss with some of my recent destinations...but I've also been going to the same places a lot. I need to be more diligent about documenting my trips around.

Last night, my first trip to lovely Bill Tipton Field, home of the Carl Albert Titans. Doubleheader...the end of a long Day 2 of a four-day JV tournament.



The Titans' field is a nice facility. The dressing room is a bit like a jail cell (it's about 6' x 8'), but overall, not too bad. We even get our own lockers...



...and most importantly, AIR CONDITIONING.



Never underestimate the value of good HVAC after calling in the Oklahoma heat.

I've talked before about how great it is to be back home in Oklahoma, where I can drive 5 minutes in one direction and be in the middle of town, and drive 5 minutes in the other direction and be out in the country, surrounded by cow pasture, with minimal civilization in sight. Carl Albert is in Midwest City, but sort of on the outskirts of town. In fact, nearly 2/3 of the schools I work at are either out in small towns or out on the edge of Oklahoma City. I prefer it this way, because after driving in the endless suburbs of Denver for 12 years, it's very nice to be driving at night from a job and have nothing but this:



(Sorry the picture's so bad, but that's actually with my high-beams on.)

Tonight: Freshmen doubleheader at Southmoore.

A Couple of New Photos

This first one is one that I forgot to post with my long positive vibes post from this past weekend. I mentioned that I had redone the sun visors on the Mustang, and I had a pic to prove it...then promptly neglected to actually post the pic. So here it is:



Don't they look great? It did take a bit of time to figure out how to replace them, but I got them done and they look wonderful now. The old ones were pretty faded and torn up.

Next is a hilarious picture that Heidi and I got the other night, during dinner. We have a great shot of Julianna thoroughly enjoying her yogurt.



She's such a little firecracker...she just cracks me up! I'm going to get some good photos of Owen soon, too, so I can get them up. He's really doing some great things, and he just keeps making big strides, and I want to share some of those, so keep your eyes open for them!

At The Risk Of Being Political...

I have taken a vow here to not get political...a vow with which I am struggling mightily, given what happened last night, IYKWIMAITYD. I'm going to let Mr. Roman Moronie do my talking for me.



That's all I have to say about that.

Generating Some Positive Vibes

Update 3/25/2010: I originally neglected to post the photo of the new sun visors further down...that has been fixed.

I'm not going to lie to you...today is CRAP. It's snowing, I'm supposed to be working late tonight, I probably won't get any games in, my week was long and terrible, I'm very tired, and Heidi is sick (so I'm basically on my own with the kids today).

So I'm writing this post in an attempt to switch out this negative groove for some positive vibes. I'm going to start by talking about something you all know I love to talk about: cars...and specifically, the continuing project of the Mustang.

First, I was able to take a couple of hours this past week and get the new engine Ford 302 block (well, new to me...it's actually out of an '86 Cougar) all stripped down and ready to go to the machine shop. I got everything taken off of/out of the block, and she's pretty much ready to go. Here's the block, fully stripped, on the engine stand:



Here's the bottom end of the block, showing the main bearing caps (and no oil pan or crank, obviously):



Also, here are the crankshaft and camshaft (along with the old freeze plugs). Below that is a pic of the pistons.





Will these be reused in the engine rebuild-and-swap? Well, I might be able to use the crankshaft, but not the camshaft. Funny thing about the Ford 5.0L engines of the 80s: there were two different build-outs. The "standard" 302 used the original 302 firing order of 1-5-4-2-6-3-7-8. The cam and crank are both thus set up for that particular firing order. The 302 H.O. ("High Output") engine used the same firing order as the larger 351 Windsor, 1-3-7-2-6-5-4-8, basically swapping the timing of the 5-4 and 3-7 cylinders in the order. Apparently, the 351/HO firing order results in the engine running more smoothly and provides less stress/load on the crankshaft and bearing caps, so Ford's engineers decided to go that way in high-performance engines (the HO and bigger 351 engines were obviously designed to be the high-performance Ford small blocks). So I can't use this cam with the Mustang engine, if I'm going to stay true to its original HO build-out, because this is a standard (i.e., original firing order) camshaft. I won't reuse the pistons, either. Basically, if I'm going to go to the trouble of doing a full rebuild, I might as well put in as many new parts as I can. I likely will use the crankshaft and connecting rods that are in the best shape (cranks and rods are EXPENSIVE). However, I will be getting new pistons, a new camshaft, new lifters (I am strongly considering Rhoads lifters), new timing set, new high-volume oil pump, new bearings, new gaskets and seals, new bolts and fasteners, and possibly a new oil pan. Reusing the old parts just doesn't make much sense because of the greater wear incurred by them.

Here's the Mustang in its current state, on the jack stands and patiently awaiting my completion of the engine rebuild, as well as the steering box swap:



It also needs the rear brakes redone, but they're drums, so that won't be too bad, even if I have to buy new drums. It also needs new tires. Once all of THAT is done, she'll finally be road-worthy again. (I'd also like to get the top working automatically again, since summer's coming and that would be very nice.)

Unfortunately, since it's just sort of taking up space, it's also being tasked to hold a few other things that it normally wouldn't, because the garage is in something of a state of flux right now. We just got the main bay cleared out enough for Heidi to park the minivan in the garage (its first time in a garage of any sort for nearly two and a half years). I'm using the third bay for the automotive work, which it will do until the Mustang is in a better (i.e., mobile) state. Now, the hood's also off, as you can see, since she's awaiting an engine swap:



The next big phase of the Mustang project, after the mechanicals are done, is repainting. You remember a few posts back, where I put up the pic of what it WILL look like? That's gotta be done next. The weatherstripping also all needs replacement. Once the exterior is done, all that will remain is interior work: new carpet and upholstery, new console, new dash pad, new door panels...you get the idea. I did get a little time to finish off a small piece of the interior, replacing the old, totally-destroyed sun visors with new ones:



Next up on the agenda is another subject very close to my heart, but this is someONE, not someTHING: my son Connor, who I miss very much. I took these pics while he was here with us at Christmastime. We got some decent weather, so he and Chong and I went down to Norman for lunch and a little walk-around time on campus. Here he is with some important personages:









What's great is, he and his big sis have already gotten their pictures taken with the real deal in three of these cases:





I can't wait until summer, when he comes out for his five weeks. We've already got a lot planned.

Finally, I have a HILARIOUS video of our little one, who is making incredible leaps and bounds every day:



So I feel better now, after all of this. Plus, the snow hasn't been nearly as bad so far as they were predicting, and that makes me feel A LOT better. Let's hope it stays low-key today. I can REALLY use low-key.

All-Time Comedy Favorites

Like most people, I love a good comedy. My sense of humor is sometimes odd, but usually very visually-oriented. I also always perfer comedy that is over-the-top in surrealism or imagination...the kind of scenes you might imagine a kid thinking of. That said, there are some scenes that I could watch a thousand times and still laugh very loudly at every time. Here are a few:

1. Pee Wee's Big Adventure: "Paging Mr. Herman" and "Deep In The Heart Of Texas"





2. Bruce Almighty: Evan Baxter's gibberish newscast scene

(Unfortunately, no good copy exists that I could find.)

3. Johnny Dangerously: "Your Testicles And You"



4. Austin Powers: "One Swedish-made penis enlarger pump..."



(And, just for The Super Hotness..."Burt Bacharach Plays His Hits". Love ya, babe!)

5. The Naked Gun: "Nice Beaver!"



Hope you enjoyed those (and that they're still up on Youtube in a few months, so I don't have to go track them back down again). Anyone have any to add?

Brian Stewart Field

...in beautiful Tuttle, OK. Tuttle is a nice little town, with nice folks and a proud baseball program.


The dressing arrangements there are actually better than most. There's a back gate immediately attached to the umpires' dressing building. The gate leads to a parking lot that is on school grounds, on the opposite side of the field from the main gate and fan parking.


In the dressing building, there's a table, shelves, and chairs, and full electricity, including a small fridge! When you change regularly in equipment sheds surrounded by lawn mowers, foul line chalk, and pitching machines, things like chairs and working electric lights quickly become a luxury again. The dressing room is also pretty clean, also very nice given the state of most dressing rooms we get.

Saturday, March 13th: this was a single varsity game against Bethany...and this was my third trip to Tuttle in the previous five days. Today the Tigers run-rule Bethany, and since they were only playing a single, it was a short day.

Fashion Trends...in UMPIRING?

This post originates with my annoyance at having to buy four different shirts in two colors, and the future need to buy more shirts in other colors. Let me go into a little bit of umpiring history for you, along with some of my own personal umpiring history, so you have a better understanding.

Way back in the early days of baseball, the 1850s-1870s, umpires were chosen from local folk or even local ballplayers. The role of umpire was a role of high prestige, as it was still a gentleman's game and thus only the highest order of gentleman was entrusted with the "honor" of the role, which obviously required integrity and good judgment (and still does). As a result, the umpire typically was attired in a full suit, Prince Albert coat, and top hat. However, the umpire could wear anything he wanted. Umpire attire was not standardized in any way until the American Association did so for its umpires in the late 1880s, and the uniform was blue flannel coat and cap. This uniform is also the origin of the nickname "Men in Blue" for umpires. Through the early to middle 20th century, umpires wore blue serge suits across the board. You can see a well-known classic example at this link.

The American League, ever the innovator when it came to the umpiring profession (thank you very much, Ban Johnson), adopted a sportier look in 1968 by moving umpires to gray slacks, which we still wear today. However, blazers and dress shirts were still the norm. In fact, jackets were not fully shed by major league umpires until the 1980s, and even then, dark blazers and "plate coats" were favored by the Major Leaguers almost into the 1990s.

That brings me to when I started. My first umpire uniform, in the summer of 1991, was a powder-blue collared short sleeve dress shirt and heather gray slacks. This was pretty much the uniform into the late 1990s, when the Major Leagues introduced navy blue polo shirts for approved wear. By the dawn of the 21st century, the big guys had moved completed to the polo shirts, in a variety of colors.

We lower-level umpires always follow the trends of the major league guys. So that means at one time we had one color of shirt and one color of slacks to buy, making it easier to assemble several days' worth of clothing (important when you're calling lots of games, because there's always a shortage of good umpires). Today, however, we have two different colors of slacks, pullover jackets are more common, and we have SIX different colors of polo shirt we might be wearing on any given night. Navy blue and the familiar old powder blue are most common, but we have black, red, white, cream...it's ridiculous, and a real budget killer for new guys, as compared to what it used to be.

I'm sure it will continue to change...though I'm curious about what I'll be wearing in 10 years. Just as long as it's all only one color, I'll be happy.

A Flavor Of Umpiring

I've decided I'm going to put together a new string of posts as a regular feature. When I was umpiring before, I thought a lot about writing a book, actually...a book about what life is like as an amateur umpire at the youth league, junior high, and high school levels. There are lots of books about major league umpires and minor league umpires, and there have been documentaries and real-life shows that have followed those guys. But there really isn't much that I've seen about amateur umpires anywhere. What little there is, is geared more toward umpires themselves and not toward fans or other "normal" folks. To those people, we're usually either idiots or evil. At best, when we do a great job, we're invisible (that's what I prefer).

I dress out just like players do...but sometimes it's in a grounds-keeping shack with no lights, like where I worked last night. Or in a room that is the original concession stand, just boarded up inside and with the appliances and plumbing ripped out. Or in the girls' volleyball coach's office. Sometimes, there's nowhere for me to dress, so I just dress in the back seat of my Bronco (hey, my back windows are tinted). I work fields that are brand-new, and I work fields that look like my Grandpa played T-ball there. I've done games with umpires who were great and fun to work with, and I've done games with guys I hope I never see again. I've had crazy ejections and screwy rules situations...I even had a kid get confused in a 9-year-old Little League game and rather than throwing the ball at a base, throw it right at me.

The baseball you see on TV is usually very clean, very "normal" from the standpoint of not having as many eventful things happen. My experiences are nothing like that; I have crazy stuff happen all the time, because you're dealing with players who are young and who are charged up and who are under pressure from the adults in their lives to "do it right" and to win. They don't have the years of experience and high-quality coaching the big-league players have, so this means they end up making mistakes and doing goofy things. And when that happens, plays get really close...a lot closer than you ever see on TV.

And occasionally, all Hell breaks loose.

As an example, let me give you a situation from many years ago, one I've never forgotten and never will. I was calling a 16-17-year-old game in an AAU tournament in Norman in about 1994 or 1995. One of the teams had lost many of its starters because of a stomach virus they had acquired that weekend, but they still had nine players to field for the game, so we went ahead and got it started. But because most of the guys they lost were their good players, they were getting pounded pretty badly. By the end of the 2nd inning, they were already down 11-12 runs. The players were very frustrated and grouchy, because they were actually a pretty good team and not used to losing in that fashion.

In the third, a shot deep to the gap in left-center had the left fielder and the center fielder on their horses, with the center fielder getting to the ball first. The left fielder, seeing his teammate was going to get there well ahead of him, let up and quit running to the ball. The shortstop saw this. The center fielder got the ball and fired it in, and the batter ended up with a two-run triple. After the play was over, the shortstop started yelling at his buddy in left field, complaining about him letting up and not hustling. The left fielder yelled back, and the two argued for a minute or two. I was on the bases, and had turned my back to them to go to my position.

Suddenly, I heard yelling from the coaches and the fans, and turned to see the shortstop sprinting out into left field, directly toward his teammate. I immediately started sprinting out myself to try to keep anything bad from happening...too late. The shortstop got out there and threw a hard right to the left fielder's mouth. The left fielder went down and stayed down. The shortstop, now satiated by what he'd just done and realizing that he was in some trouble, backed off just as I got there, with the coaches right behind me. One coach pulled the shortstop toward the dugout while the other two went to tend to the left fielder, who was still down and in serious pain. As it turned out, the shortstop's punch had knocked out two teeth.

So what did we do? Well, the left fielder was out of the game because of his injury (we sure as heck weren't going to let him stay in after that). Now, this tournament was being played according to high school rules, and high school rules say a team can continue a game with only 8 players. They just pick a spot in the line-up and take an automatic out there every time the batting order gets to that spot. BUT...the shortstop was also out, since we ejected him for fighting, so they were down to seven. That's not enough players to finish. BALL GAME.

See what I mean?

I'm going to try to put together some regular posts with that sort of thing, both from my experiences years ago and from my recent stuff. I'll add some photos in from time to time as I can do so. And it won't be just about baseball...I face the same situations and challenges, with a slightly different view, in my football work. But sports officiating isn't a job or even merely a career. It's a calling. Sometimes it really sucks, but there are lots of times where it can be incredibly rewarding. Mostly, I'm just happy to be out there. My hope is that you'll get a flavor of what it's like for those of us who do this. I hope you enjoy it.

A Few Quick Pics

I am not a professional photographer. In fact, throughout my life I have generally unintentionally avoided taking snapshots or other pics, and so, there are lots of moments in my life that I would love to have visually documented but just didn't. But I have a camera phone, and a hand-me-down old digital camera (slightly better than the camera phone), and so I wanted to pass along a few pictures today.

First and foremost, I'm going to kick this off by following Rule 5, and show the super-hotness that shares my life every day and my bed every night:



Yep, she's all mine. Isn't she awesome, folks? (And credit where credit is due...I did NOT take this pic, she did. But I think that it is really hot.)

This is what I currently drive every day...



This is the car I would RATHER be driving:





AND I'd rather that it looked more like this (and IT WILL):



This car, by the way, belongs to a guy I know on the Four-Eyed Pride forums, who did a full resto on his. It's a beauty, isn't it? It is pretty much identical to mine...well, to what mine is supposed to be. The Super-Hotness told me she LOVES it, and I think the look is pretty good, myself. I'm very partial to racing stripes and other kinds of central striping, and I love the black satin hood stripe on the GT. This is the ultimate goal of my project Mustang...and one day, mine will be that nice. I've already redone the top (long-time readers will remember this). Finishing the mechanicals to get it drivable again is Milestone #1, then tires, brakes, cleaning up and repainting the body, and finally the interior.

Unfortunately, I mentioned that little engine problem...where it looked like someone had vomited into the cylinder? Well, here's a pic of the mess that a mixture of coolant, oil, and gasoline can and will make inside your engine. (This is the #5 cylinder...driver's side, front). You'll immediately see why my metaphor of its appearance is so apt.



This actually caused enough problems to weaken the cylinder wall and make it crack slightly, so the block is junk until I'm interested in going back to "numbers-matching" status and thus taking it to get it bored and sleeved at the machine shop (a very expensive proposition).

YESYESYESYESYESYES!!!

So in the past few days, some really AWESOME trailers for some upcoming AWESOMER movies were released. (Disclaimer: I'm not one of Those People who believes that movies have to be uplifting or artsy or deep or bohemian or intellectually challenging or whatever. Face reality: movies are mind candy...AND THAT'S OK. I love a good comedy, and I love a good sci-fi flick, and I love a good action film.)

So when I saw this come up yesterday, I was very excited:



That is, of course, the full trailer for Iron Man 2, and as you can see, we will only be waiting two more months to see it (even better!!!). The first Iron Man movie is definitely my favorite of the re-invented superhero films we've been seeing over the past several years. I haven't seen The Dark Knight, but I also loved Batman Begins...but so far Iron Man is still slightly on top.

So then this morning, I saw that this was just released:



THAT is the trailer for Tron Legacy, a movie that many people...no, that's not quite right...that many hardcore geeks have been waiting ages for. And definitely count me among that number, because Tron was one of my favorite movies as a kid. I just wish we weren't having to wait so long...December 2010?!?! COME ON ALREADY!!! Anyway, for those of you who missed the reference in the title of this post, try this on for size...and for those of you who did catch it, enjoy!

Male Insecurity

I heard this morning from my pard Jason, for about the 3,000,000,000th time, a story of a woman who broke up with a guy because he was...keeping close tabs on her (let's just put it that way). In this case, a guy knew to the minute when she had arrived home very late after work. Maybe not too unusual...until you hear that this was about 3:00am. Stalker? Hired a PI? GPS tracking her cell phone? We weren't sure what the method was, but I told Jason that if I had a penny for every time I'd heard a similar story, I'd have retired long ago.

What the $*&% makes men so dadgum insecure in their relationships? I have NEVER felt that way in any relationship that I've been in. Either a) he's too insecure because he thinks she's two-timing him, or b) he's too possessive because he believes she is HIS.

Either way...dude, GO SEE A PSYCHIATRIST.

Baseball and Engines

Baseball is like engines...no, not really. I just thought that was a funny way to start the post.

I've called a few games so far now, and I have noticed a few things I don't remember from before.

1. Coaches whine a lot. Maybe they whined as much 15 years ago as they do today, and I just blocked it out. But the whining is definitely bad. That will obviously take some getting used to again.

2. The plays are a lot closer than you're used to seeing on TV. Most of this has to do with the fact that younger, less experienced players rarely field the ball cleanly all the time, rarely throw it where they're supposed to throw it, and...generally rarely do things the way they're supposed to be done. This leads to a lot of situations where you end up with a bang-bang play that really had no business being a bang-bang play.

3. I'm enjoying calling again. I'm still (re-)learning, and I've made a few mistakes, but it's nice being back out on the field. Although, I DON'T like doing 500-600 squats over the course of four hours, as I did in the last two games yesterday. My partner wanted to take the first of our three games behind the plate, and I was fine with that. I actually had figured on doing the 1st and 3rd games, but since he wanted to do the 1st game, I figured I'd be in the field for two and that's always good. But he is a new guy, in his first year calling baseball, and so he wanted more work on the bases because he's not used to those mechanics yet. So I let him work there for the 2nd and 3rd.

It's supposed to rain today, but if the weather holds up, I'm scheduled to do 4 prep games at the Moore Youth Baseball preseason tourney. I hope I get those games in. Of course, if I don't, I might try to get a little time finishing the tear-down of the new engine.

"New engine??"

Yes...my last update on the Mustang from late last March mentioned the coolant-from-the-flywheel-bolt-holes issue. Well, I cracked into the engine and sure enough, coolant had leaked into the Number 5 cylinder (that's driver's side, front to you non-gearheads), had combined with gasoline and engine oil, and had turned itself into something that looked like someone had vomited into the engine. Anyway, I'll provide more on that story later tonight or tomorrow.

WOOHOO!!! GOOD WEATHER!!

It appears that we are FINALLY emerging from our long North Dakota-style winter that we've been having around here. Check out here for the latest 7-day forecast....isn't that beautiful?

I don't mind a little rain, and I don't mind a little cold, but it has really stunk to have such a cold, snowy, icy winter. I'm already considering a move further south...but unfortunately I can only move so far before I end up in Texas. I don't know if I'm ready to make that move yet.

(And of course, the better the weather, the more baseball games I get in! CHA-CHING!! Keep praying for good weather.)

Baseball Is On The Way

This week opens the high school baseball season here in Oklahoma. I'm super-excited now. I was really nervous before, but then I got in a couple of scrimmages and I went to an umpiring camp run by an old friend (Doug McClure...the site for his camp is here, if any of you are interested). The instruction and practice I got really helped me get back into the groove. There's still a little uncertainty, mostly because there are administrative issues and intangibles that I still haven't exercised in many years. Doug told me a few times it would be just like riding a bike for me, and some of it definitely has been that way.

As time has gone on, I've realized that everyone really does have a unique skill or talent, something that they're good at, and usually something they can find a way to give to others. I think that my primary skill is the ability to take a finite set of rules and apply them consistently to bring order. If you look at the more specific things I'm good at, you can see it there. Computer work...sports officiating...auto mechanics...all of these require you to know the underlying, fundamental rules that make the system go (the computer, the game, the car) and apply them in a way that brings order to chaos.

I'm just thrilled to be back in it. Football last fall was a great experience, and baseball will be awesome. My first game is Friday afternoon, and I'm just about ready.

Glad THAT'S Over

The 2010 Vancouver Olympics are done. Another Olympics has come and gone...THANK HEAVEN.

I watched exactly one Olympic event this time around: the hockey gold medal game, primarily because I love hockey. That's also exactly one more event than I watched in the past two Olympics combined. I should have just not even wasted my time. (To be honest, I don't know why they bother issuing silver and bronze medals in the hockey tournament. It's a playoff, and only one team wins a playoff. Everyone else loses...so a fake piece of silver or bronze around your neck has about as much meaning and value as a 2nd-place ribbon at the local county fair. Ask the American players today how good they feel about what they ended up with yesterday, and how many of them would've felt a lot better just chucking their medals into the crowd as they headed off the ice in defeat. Really, check the replays...did any of them look very pleased during the medal ceremony? My impression was that none of them wanted to be there at all...which probably would've been much better, anyway.)

Now we can get back to the reality of the world as it is. I'm really not a hopey, changey kind of person...because in the world I live in, people never change, never have changed, and never will change. (Or rather, people don't want to change...they want everyone else to change.) People will always look out for their own local, personal, individual interests, and that leads to countries that only look out for their own interests, and that's really what it's all about. The Olympics isn't about peace, friendly competition, world unification, or any of that nonsense. It's all about money, prestige, egos, aggression...pretty much everything that the Olympics is not supposed to be about. So let's all give up the delusion, shall we?

For those of you who still harbor the notion that the Olympics is some sort of wonderful, pure international exhibition, some sort of window into what-could-be if we'd all just try to get along, consider the following questions: If the Olympics are so unimportant...

...why did Canada spend nearly $110 million to "dominate the medals platform"? (If you think I'm pulling stuff out of my rear, Google this. You'll find it. It's also mentioned in the article here.)

...why did Canada make a point of monopolizing the practice time immediately prior to the games, even when the rest of the athletes were there and needing a few runs of their own? (This is specifically mentioned as a factor leading up to the death of the Georgian luger.)

...why do we still live with countless judging travesties in the subjective sports? Now even the "objective" sports are being ruined. The Americans and South Koreans each lost medals, thanks to the insights of the officials in speed skating.

...why does NBC pay tens of millions of dollars for the rights to broadcast, and charge millions to companies that want to advertise?

...why do cities spend hundreds of millions in their respective currencies on advertising and travel and politicking and new facilities to get the "privilege" of hosting an Olympic Games?

...why is booing the Americans such a common thread at any Olympics? Not that it bothers us, because we're really quite used to it, by this point. But really, if all this is so friendly...do I really need to finish that sentence? (I heard that the IOC is strongly considering making "booing the Americans" a certified sport. It can go in both summer AND winter, the Americans would never want to compete, and it would have awesome TV coverage in the rest of the world. As far as they're concerned, that's win-win-win.)

...why is drug testing required now? Why would you need such a boost for something so inconsequential?

...why are all the athletes professionals now? I thought the Olympics were supposed to feature amateurs, because it's so pure.

It's all meaningless, right? Just a little friendly international competition? On the other hand, the Olympic Village needed an "emergency shipment of condoms" because supplies were low. I guess this is a counter-proof that the Olympics really IS an international love-fest.

Would it even matter if the US pulled out of the Olympics altogether? Who really even cares? Would you rally and protest to Congress and get all up-in-arms about it? I doubt it. I'd rather see it that way, myself...let the rest of the world pretend, while we Americans do the heavy lifting for them, as usual.

I admit, I loved the Olympics when I was a kid. I loved watching the bobsled and the hockey and the skiing and the speed-skating. But I grew up eventually.