Well, Rudy's out now, too. With McCain's victory in Florida, and with only Romney, McCain, Huckabee, and Paul (yes...amazingly, he's sticking it out) left to choose from, we continue to be more and more set for a brokered convention. Seriously, here are your choices:
1. McCain -- A maverick his entire career, exceedingly moderate (which is why so many independents are sneaking into the Republican primaries to vote for him), and with a horrible record on many conservative issues, he only appeals to independents, consistently losing by margins of 2-1 among the base. The media fawns all over him, which is another reason why he's managed to stick around so long. He has a few good ideas and is strong for the military, but is not capable of rallying the Republican Party.
2. Huckabee -- I can't believe I once thought he'd be a good choice. Sure, he's an evangelical so he'll get lots of folks who can't see beyond that to vote for him, as we've already seen. He's socially conservative. But his record is horrible, especially on taxes. He raised taxes so many times as governor of Arkansas, you'd think he was a Democrat.
3. Paul -- Uh, no. We don't need an isolationist libertarian in today's world; he has some good ideas but he would NEVER get elected, not in a million years. Plus, that whole Ron Paul newsletter thing really turned me off to him. How will it look if he were to go up against Obama, with the sort of racist statements that emerged from that newsletter?
4. Romney -- He's not ideal, and some people think he's a flip-flopper because he changed his position on abortion. However, he's the strongest on economic issues and he's the most consistently conservative (true conservative, not the fake kind) of any of the remaining candidates. As to if he's electable, again, the guy was a REPUBLICAN governor...in MASSACHUSETTS (aka "Kennedyland"). Now that has its advantages and disadvantages. He has made statements that are not conservative. On the other hand he has had to work with the extreme handicap of a Democrat state. I feel he is probably our best option for a conservative candidate.
I feel our best choice, Fred Thompson, is gone. We've also lost another great choice in Rudy Giuliani. We're at a point where we're trying to do the best we can with what we have left. I'm voting for Romney on Tuesday. I urge any of my fellow Republicans to do the same. We get Romney, who's probably the best choice among the current candidates. However, if there is still enough of a horse race through this, we might get a brokered convention. In our current situation, this would be our best outcome; we would most likely get a real conservative candidate based on a good consensus of the Republican Party. We might even get Newt Gingrich, who certainly would be a good choice.
Should we end up with McCain, as many pundits believe we will, I honestly don't know what I will do. I don't want to ditch my vote, but I will find it extremely difficult to support a man whom I believe would be nearly as bad a President as any of the Democrats would be.
Thanks for reading along.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Obama's Quandary
First, sorry I haven't been keeping up with this thing so well. Very busy. I have another installment of the "Saga of the Car" coming within a day or two, though.
Anyway, the Kennedys handed the keys to Camelot over to Barack Obama yesterday. (Can't you liberals ever leave the 60s behind, where they belong? You've already initiated the destruction of American culture and society...now let it run it's course. Besides, how can you people claim to be "progressive" if all you ever do is look to a time that is long since gone? Shame on you.) Forget the sham of invoking the name of a great president like John F. Kennedy. This is the same man who said, "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country." How ironic that today's Democrats who bank on his legacy are the same Democrats that are essentially saying to every American, "Let your country do everything for you." (See also, "health care," "gun control," "tax increases," etc., etc...)
Now others have suggested that someone might try to assassinate Barack Obama. Perhaps...but I don't buy it. I mean, consider the hatred reserved by many for the "Holy Trinity": George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, and Karl Rove. How many millions of people around the globe would love nothing more than to see any or all of them dead, and have said so loudly and proudly? (I'm not one of those people, but I bet you know someone who is.) And yet, all three of those guys are still alive. If none of the wackos out there has yet managed to knock off any of them in nearly eight years' time, I think Mr. Obama is probably safe, as well, regardless of his status.
Thanks for reading along.
Anyway, the Kennedys handed the keys to Camelot over to Barack Obama yesterday. (Can't you liberals ever leave the 60s behind, where they belong? You've already initiated the destruction of American culture and society...now let it run it's course. Besides, how can you people claim to be "progressive" if all you ever do is look to a time that is long since gone? Shame on you.) Forget the sham of invoking the name of a great president like John F. Kennedy. This is the same man who said, "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country." How ironic that today's Democrats who bank on his legacy are the same Democrats that are essentially saying to every American, "Let your country do everything for you." (See also, "health care," "gun control," "tax increases," etc., etc...)
Now others have suggested that someone might try to assassinate Barack Obama. Perhaps...but I don't buy it. I mean, consider the hatred reserved by many for the "Holy Trinity": George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, and Karl Rove. How many millions of people around the globe would love nothing more than to see any or all of them dead, and have said so loudly and proudly? (I'm not one of those people, but I bet you know someone who is.) And yet, all three of those guys are still alive. If none of the wackos out there has yet managed to knock off any of them in nearly eight years' time, I think Mr. Obama is probably safe, as well, regardless of his status.
Thanks for reading along.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
A Can of Simonize...
One of my favorite lines from immortal A Christmas Story, when the Old Man (Darrin McGavin) gets a can of Simonize car wax from his wife as a Christmas present. I had forgotten about this pic until today and so I thought I'd put it up here. In a wonderful Christmas Story moment, Heidi got me the next best thing:
In this case, a can of Orange Goop hand cleaner. I love you, babe...you know just what I like!
In this case, a can of Orange Goop hand cleaner. I love you, babe...you know just what I like!
Are You Not Entertained???
In a memorable scene from the excellent movie Gladiator, Maximus, played by Russell Crowe, has just finished brutally killing another gladiator in the arena. Disgusted by the cheers of people getting their jollies from two men fighting for their very lives, he shouts to the bloodthirsty crowd, "Are you not entertained?!?! Is this not why you are here?"
Perhaps as a fresh sign that the writers' strike is having a deep impact on American culture, the race for the Democratic nomination has become the country's new soap opera. In one corner, we have the ubiquitous Hillary Clinton, known to all and one of America's most polarizing figures. She's the woman you love to hate. In the other corner, promising newcomer Barack Obama, young, fresh-faced, ready to change the world like all young pups. As a Democrat race, it's ideal, pitting a woman against an African-American, demonstrating once and for all the wondrous diversity and liberality that the Democrat party stands for.
Or does it? It has recently degenerated into the sort of continuous mudslinging and sniping that make up pretty much every race. And this race has become even worse. Normally, a minority individual can play the victim card pretty handily, particularly in the face of the regular opposition received from Republicans. Democrats are good at this, and minority Democrats are the best at it. But what happens when both parties are minority Democrats? What good is your own ace of spades, when your opponent has one just like it? That precious trump card no longer remains, and you must stand on your own and make your pitch as yourself. You alone, not your race or gender or other specialized victim status, but your ideas, your opinions, your record, your personality. In this way, the Democrats have really just shown their own hypocrisy; despite all their bluster about diversity and being the open-minded party that represents the little people and the minorities, they play identity politics and polarize even their own supporters as well as anyone.
The American people, already sick to death of the game shows and reality TV that have come out of this writers' strike in Hollywood, have latched on to this new ultimate reality series like sharks to a wounded mackerel. The media, likewise sick of game shows and reality TV and seeking new ways to attract viewers and preserve some advertising revenue, sees the opening and dumps more and more of this toxin into the airwaves. The normal amplification of everything said or done by the candidates has, in the words of Nigel Tufnel, "gone to 11." Bill said this. Hillary said that, and Obama responded like this. Michelle called Bill a what?? Is it any wonder that most well-known liberal celebrities, the actors and musicians that typically make up a huge part of the Democrat propaganda machine, have steered clear of this whole affair and kept their mouths shut (for once in their lives)? How ironic is it that even the people about whom Don Henley wrote Dirty Laundry should wish to avoid the stain of this? But Americans are still lapping it up, half in serious concern over the many challenges our country is facing and half in desperate need for some diversion to distract them from those very same issues. It's almost like watching a large-scale episode of the Jerry Springer Show, but with outcomes much more grave than anything even a committee of Hollywood writers could conceive.
But again...are you not entertained?
Perhaps as a fresh sign that the writers' strike is having a deep impact on American culture, the race for the Democratic nomination has become the country's new soap opera. In one corner, we have the ubiquitous Hillary Clinton, known to all and one of America's most polarizing figures. She's the woman you love to hate. In the other corner, promising newcomer Barack Obama, young, fresh-faced, ready to change the world like all young pups. As a Democrat race, it's ideal, pitting a woman against an African-American, demonstrating once and for all the wondrous diversity and liberality that the Democrat party stands for.
Or does it? It has recently degenerated into the sort of continuous mudslinging and sniping that make up pretty much every race. And this race has become even worse. Normally, a minority individual can play the victim card pretty handily, particularly in the face of the regular opposition received from Republicans. Democrats are good at this, and minority Democrats are the best at it. But what happens when both parties are minority Democrats? What good is your own ace of spades, when your opponent has one just like it? That precious trump card no longer remains, and you must stand on your own and make your pitch as yourself. You alone, not your race or gender or other specialized victim status, but your ideas, your opinions, your record, your personality. In this way, the Democrats have really just shown their own hypocrisy; despite all their bluster about diversity and being the open-minded party that represents the little people and the minorities, they play identity politics and polarize even their own supporters as well as anyone.
The American people, already sick to death of the game shows and reality TV that have come out of this writers' strike in Hollywood, have latched on to this new ultimate reality series like sharks to a wounded mackerel. The media, likewise sick of game shows and reality TV and seeking new ways to attract viewers and preserve some advertising revenue, sees the opening and dumps more and more of this toxin into the airwaves. The normal amplification of everything said or done by the candidates has, in the words of Nigel Tufnel, "gone to 11." Bill said this. Hillary said that, and Obama responded like this. Michelle called Bill a what?? Is it any wonder that most well-known liberal celebrities, the actors and musicians that typically make up a huge part of the Democrat propaganda machine, have steered clear of this whole affair and kept their mouths shut (for once in their lives)? How ironic is it that even the people about whom Don Henley wrote Dirty Laundry should wish to avoid the stain of this? But Americans are still lapping it up, half in serious concern over the many challenges our country is facing and half in desperate need for some diversion to distract them from those very same issues. It's almost like watching a large-scale episode of the Jerry Springer Show, but with outcomes much more grave than anything even a committee of Hollywood writers could conceive.
But again...are you not entertained?
Saturday, January 12, 2008
The Worst of the 80s
I like a lot of stuff from the 80s. I like 80s music, and I like those "Best of the 80s" compilations. I decided to put together a "Worst of the 80s" list, such as I might use if I were making my own music compilation. I thought about songs that are just horrid, either for their awful sound or for their sappiness, or their cheesy sentiment, or whatever. I've got ones I think of and I also consulted my resident music expert Heidi. So here's Volume I of our list of the worst songs of the 1980s:
Dexy's Midnight Runners, "Come On Eileen" -- commonly considered a classic of the 80s, I have always loathed this song from the core of my being. It just sounds dirty to me. I don't mean naughty, but dirty. Like every one of those guys just walked into the studio after wallowing in the mud for 30 minutes. And of course, Heidi agreed that it's bad, so on the list it goes.
Ultravox, "Dancing With Tears In My Eyes" -- We all remember that there was a big fixation with dancing in music of the 80s...Footloose...Careless Whisper...Dancing In The Sheets. But this early experiment in combining that fixation with teen angst was a train wreck. Seriously, listen to this and imagine all the 14-year-old girls wailing this with their girlfriends after getting dumped at the dance.
Spandau Ballet, "Gold" -- I don't usually say that a song sounds gay, but this song really sounds gay. I mean GAY.
Soft Cell, "Say Hello, Wave Goodbye" -- Yes, they of "Tainted Love" fame. Listen to it some time...it's about 12 minutes long, the lyrics are crap, and the lead singer wails. Seriously.
Starship, "We Built This City" -- Bad for its ridiculous idolizing of San Francisco, and worse for the rework of the DJ voice-over by every American radio station to fit their particular city. (Tulsa's radio stations did it, so I'm sure all the other stations probably did, too.) In fact, just add in about everything Starship did in the 80s, like "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now".
Alphaville, "Forever Young" -- Another song that's about 10 minutes too long. And it's a 7-minute-song.
ABC, "Posion Arrow" -- It's not as gay as "Gold", but it's close. You'll want to shoot a poison arrow through your own heart when this comes on the radio.
Will To Power, "Baby, I Love Your Way" -- When it comes on, sap literally drips from the radio. It's worse when they play the version that is the medley with "Freebird".
Europe, "The Final Countdown" -- The opening riff is classic, but it can't save this horrendous power ballad...or whatever the heck you call it.
Night Ranger, "Sister Christian" -- I'm not much of a hair band fan, but most of that music still had some kind of merit, some way that that you could see how someone else might like it. Not so with this one.
Eddie Murphy, "Party All The Time" -- Eddie Murphy. 'Nuff said.
Michael Bolton, "How Am I Supposed To Live Without You" -- Some of his other stuff is all right, but I don't know how anyone can stand his yelling in this song for very long.
We hope you enjoyed the list. Drop a comment if you have an idea for a song to add. To close this out, I'll say this: as a wise person once said, "If I have a flaw, it's that I'm not perfect." Thanks for reading along.
Dexy's Midnight Runners, "Come On Eileen" -- commonly considered a classic of the 80s, I have always loathed this song from the core of my being. It just sounds dirty to me. I don't mean naughty, but dirty. Like every one of those guys just walked into the studio after wallowing in the mud for 30 minutes. And of course, Heidi agreed that it's bad, so on the list it goes.
Ultravox, "Dancing With Tears In My Eyes" -- We all remember that there was a big fixation with dancing in music of the 80s...Footloose...Careless Whisper...Dancing In The Sheets. But this early experiment in combining that fixation with teen angst was a train wreck. Seriously, listen to this and imagine all the 14-year-old girls wailing this with their girlfriends after getting dumped at the dance.
Spandau Ballet, "Gold" -- I don't usually say that a song sounds gay, but this song really sounds gay. I mean GAY.
Soft Cell, "Say Hello, Wave Goodbye" -- Yes, they of "Tainted Love" fame. Listen to it some time...it's about 12 minutes long, the lyrics are crap, and the lead singer wails. Seriously.
Starship, "We Built This City" -- Bad for its ridiculous idolizing of San Francisco, and worse for the rework of the DJ voice-over by every American radio station to fit their particular city. (Tulsa's radio stations did it, so I'm sure all the other stations probably did, too.) In fact, just add in about everything Starship did in the 80s, like "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now".
Alphaville, "Forever Young" -- Another song that's about 10 minutes too long. And it's a 7-minute-song.
ABC, "Posion Arrow" -- It's not as gay as "Gold", but it's close. You'll want to shoot a poison arrow through your own heart when this comes on the radio.
Will To Power, "Baby, I Love Your Way" -- When it comes on, sap literally drips from the radio. It's worse when they play the version that is the medley with "Freebird".
Europe, "The Final Countdown" -- The opening riff is classic, but it can't save this horrendous power ballad...or whatever the heck you call it.
Night Ranger, "Sister Christian" -- I'm not much of a hair band fan, but most of that music still had some kind of merit, some way that that you could see how someone else might like it. Not so with this one.
Eddie Murphy, "Party All The Time" -- Eddie Murphy. 'Nuff said.
Michael Bolton, "How Am I Supposed To Live Without You" -- Some of his other stuff is all right, but I don't know how anyone can stand his yelling in this song for very long.
We hope you enjoyed the list. Drop a comment if you have an idea for a song to add. To close this out, I'll say this: as a wise person once said, "If I have a flaw, it's that I'm not perfect." Thanks for reading along.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Desperate Times
I haven't done an update post for a while, so perhaps it's time. It's been a very rough start to the year for the Mallow family. We've been having some financial issues that aren't going to get better any time soon, and it might involve a substantial step back to resolve fully...not bankruptcy, but not exactly a positive note on my credit, either. Now, I'm not all that concerned about it at this point; thanks to some external mitigating factors, like my ex-wife's issues with our old mortgage and her subsequent decision to file for bankruptcy herself, my credit is already in bad shape, so a little extra short-term damage, or even medium-term damage won't kill me. I'm at least 2-3 years from doing anything substantive with my credit (e.g., buying a home with a traditional mortgage), so...eh. But it's still troubling, because I make a pretty good amount of money, yet we're still strapped because of these past mistakes I've made and these other factors that have conspired to get us where we are. Like I said, there are some actions I can take to take control again, but they're not necessarily good ones. Regardless, we'll make do...I have a wonderful wife and kids, good health, a roof over our heads, and food to eat. Ultimately, we'll recover.
My grandfather, who had a big part in raising me when I was a kid, is now 84 years old and he's got a strange "spot" on his leg that has eaten into his leg bone. They're not sure if it's cancer or just some sort of infection, but in either case, surgery will be required. He's already had a few heart attacks and a stroke, and he's very feeble compared with how he used to be, so we're not sure if he'd make it through the surgery. And of course, if it's cancer, radiation would be required, which would take a further toll on him. All of this will be coming to a head within about a month. Given his past health issues, I'm not optimistic, but he's had some rough health issues and made it through to this point, so you never know. I am concerned mostly because, as one of only two members of my close family outside of Oklahoma, I have missed other recent difficult times. This really hurts me, because I couldn't be around to help the family, provide or enjoy that support, and mourn when needed. My Grandpa Mallow, "Grandpa Lee" (step-grandfather I've had since I was about 2), and Aunt Dena all passed away over the last few years and I wasn't around for any of that. I only got to say goodbye to Aunt Dena because we happened to be in town a few weeks before she passed away. Being so far removed from the family I grew up so close to is the biggest challenge I have, living here in Colorado. I don't get to join in on birthday or anniversary celebrations, help out if they're sick or down, pop in for dinner or a weekend, or really do much that most good, close families do. So that makes this situation with my grandpa, who I am very close to and always have been, that much more difficult.
Owen is in a "transitional time," as Heidi puts it. He's having trouble sleeping, he's off his schedule (not that he ever had a really set one), and he had been sick until this past weekend. He's been very cranky and not as happy as usual, though that has changed a little the last few days. We're having two main issues with him right now. First, he is becoming a very picky eater. He likes big people food and he likes nursing, but he isn't interested in regular jar baby food any more, which has been his staple for a few months now. Because most of his intake comes from the jar food, this has been a big problem. Second, he doesn't want to sleep in his own bed. He has had a few opportunities to sleep with Mommy and Daddy, and he's discovered that he prefers that. We like it, too...except that he's something of a restless sleeper and kicks and hits us at night. And when he wakes up at 5:30 am, he hits us repeatedly with his hand (that's one of his ways of playing). As you might imagine, this is not conducive to good sleep habits. He also gets very fussy when he wakes in the middle of the night, even if he's not hungry, and he has trouble getting himself back to sleep. Admittedly, we've caused this issue ourselves, by going in and soothing him or rocking him to help him get back to sleep. We've been working with him to try to get him to go down on his own, and to self-soothe so he can learn to sleep on his own. It's been very, very difficult, however, even with Heidi and I working together on it.
Donovan has been struggling greatly the last several months with issues at school and at home. He is a very physical little boy and he sometimes has difficulties making good choices. He's also very dramatic at times and that can make things difficult. He's getting a lot better but we have a lot of challenges with him. I'm hoping the new year gets him started in a good way. Life has been more difficult for him since his dad moved to Illinois nearly a year and a half ago, and even though I have stepped in as much as possible as a father figure, he still needs his real dad around more. His dad calls 1-2 times a day, usually in the morning and right before bed, but it's not the same. He needs that presence. It has its positives, but it also takes its toll on him, and sometimes I suspect that he's acting out because of frustration with a lot of these things in his life. His early life was very turbulent, with Heidi's divorce and the subsequent moving around, and he's doing very well, all things considered. There are still challenges for him and for us, though, and they're not simple ones.
I've been increasingly worried for Connor. In a positive way, he's really started to love coming over to our house for his weeks with us. This has been a wonderful change from the early hesitation he had. However, I think there's a negative aspect to this; from things he's mentioned to Heidi, it sounds like he's not getting a lot of attention when he's at his mom's, because they're very busy over there and so he ends up on his own quite a bit. I suspect that it doesn't help that he's the only male over there most of the time. Lisa does things with him, don't think I'm saying she's neglecting him, but she has a lot of other concerns, and Katie is very busy with her dance stuff, and his aunt Cyndi is very busy with work and is apparently working nights and sleeping days, and so he has to spend a lot of time doing his own thing. This isn't a good thing for any kid, and I don't want him to feel neglected, whether he is being neglected in fact or not.
We did have a great event over the holidays. Katie came over and actually spent the night with us for the first time in nearly a year. It was generally good but we had so many other things going on that it still had some challenges for us. Plus, Katie herself is getting older (she's 12 and a half now, and in full swing as a "tween") and has some issues of her own. It's really difficult for us with her age and her separation from me, because normally she would have me around more but we just can't seem to get into a good groove with her. Her visits have been good, but they seem more by rote or obligation. I know this is somewhat natural, again considering her age and how her life is now, but it's not any less difficult to accept and deal with.
Heidi herself is dealing with some issues of her own, as she looks around her, sees a lot of these causes for despair, and struggles mightily to fight off her own tendencies to become negative and to languish in these depressing situations. She takes so much of what happens in our home and in our lives straight to heart, and it hurts her mightily when she sees us unhappy. She admits that one of her greatest goals is to do things to help make us happy, and she takes it personally when other things still keep us down, despite her best efforts.
Life on the Board of Directors isn't exactly a picnic. We're doing some great things and generally the school is moving along very well. However, now that the school is 8 years old, we're moving from the "new school" model to the "maturing school" model and it's giving us some new issues Some of our scores are dropping, we had a member of the Board resign this week, citing some very specific and serious concerns, and there's a general malaise across our parent community that has resulted in a lot of clique-ishness and very little volunteerism and participation. We've had some parents who have been the real water carriers for the school for so long, and they're getting tired. In the meantime, we don't have new blood stepping up to start taking over some very important things. We had a small group of vocal parents who were moving but they have specific gripes of their own and have mostly ended their participation. In short, there are some things that need to change or the school is going to stagnate. We're losing critical energy and enthusiasm, and that's very troubling. I won't lie; several parents fault the Board for not leading properly, and I see that myself to a degree. I'm trying to make effort as much as possible in some areas where I might be able to help change things, but my own time is already so limited with two jobs, Masters classes, and minding my own house. I'm not complaining, but you can see how this contributes to the overall agenda of my life and my corresponding stress levels.
All of these things are making it difficult to maintain my focus at work, where life is getting more hardcore. We have some audits coming up soon and there's still a lot to be done in getting our operational house in order, so we're all pushed to the wall with deadlines and getting things accomplished. My regular times of having to handle small personal details at work, and the resulting distractions and constant reminders of all of the above challenges, make it extremely difficult to keep pounding away.
Life will improve, I know, and I'm still fighting, still working hard to keep things running smoothly. It's tough, though...especially when you wake up every day and those problems are still there with no end or improvement in sight. It's a long slog and can be very hard to maintain a positive, upbeat attitude and approach. We're not desperate, as the title of this post might indicate, but we do have a lot of big challenges ahead, and the new year, always so full of promise when as approach it, has not been too kind to this point. Hope springs eternal, though; just pray for us that God will continue to give us strength and patience, and that we will not lose our faith and hope in Him to lead, guide, protect, and bless us all. Personally I'm hoping for some real improvement in just one of the above areas, in the hopes that it would be a real turning point for us a and a catalyst for improvement in the other areas.
Thanks for reading along.
My grandfather, who had a big part in raising me when I was a kid, is now 84 years old and he's got a strange "spot" on his leg that has eaten into his leg bone. They're not sure if it's cancer or just some sort of infection, but in either case, surgery will be required. He's already had a few heart attacks and a stroke, and he's very feeble compared with how he used to be, so we're not sure if he'd make it through the surgery. And of course, if it's cancer, radiation would be required, which would take a further toll on him. All of this will be coming to a head within about a month. Given his past health issues, I'm not optimistic, but he's had some rough health issues and made it through to this point, so you never know. I am concerned mostly because, as one of only two members of my close family outside of Oklahoma, I have missed other recent difficult times. This really hurts me, because I couldn't be around to help the family, provide or enjoy that support, and mourn when needed. My Grandpa Mallow, "Grandpa Lee" (step-grandfather I've had since I was about 2), and Aunt Dena all passed away over the last few years and I wasn't around for any of that. I only got to say goodbye to Aunt Dena because we happened to be in town a few weeks before she passed away. Being so far removed from the family I grew up so close to is the biggest challenge I have, living here in Colorado. I don't get to join in on birthday or anniversary celebrations, help out if they're sick or down, pop in for dinner or a weekend, or really do much that most good, close families do. So that makes this situation with my grandpa, who I am very close to and always have been, that much more difficult.
Owen is in a "transitional time," as Heidi puts it. He's having trouble sleeping, he's off his schedule (not that he ever had a really set one), and he had been sick until this past weekend. He's been very cranky and not as happy as usual, though that has changed a little the last few days. We're having two main issues with him right now. First, he is becoming a very picky eater. He likes big people food and he likes nursing, but he isn't interested in regular jar baby food any more, which has been his staple for a few months now. Because most of his intake comes from the jar food, this has been a big problem. Second, he doesn't want to sleep in his own bed. He has had a few opportunities to sleep with Mommy and Daddy, and he's discovered that he prefers that. We like it, too...except that he's something of a restless sleeper and kicks and hits us at night. And when he wakes up at 5:30 am, he hits us repeatedly with his hand (that's one of his ways of playing). As you might imagine, this is not conducive to good sleep habits. He also gets very fussy when he wakes in the middle of the night, even if he's not hungry, and he has trouble getting himself back to sleep. Admittedly, we've caused this issue ourselves, by going in and soothing him or rocking him to help him get back to sleep. We've been working with him to try to get him to go down on his own, and to self-soothe so he can learn to sleep on his own. It's been very, very difficult, however, even with Heidi and I working together on it.
Donovan has been struggling greatly the last several months with issues at school and at home. He is a very physical little boy and he sometimes has difficulties making good choices. He's also very dramatic at times and that can make things difficult. He's getting a lot better but we have a lot of challenges with him. I'm hoping the new year gets him started in a good way. Life has been more difficult for him since his dad moved to Illinois nearly a year and a half ago, and even though I have stepped in as much as possible as a father figure, he still needs his real dad around more. His dad calls 1-2 times a day, usually in the morning and right before bed, but it's not the same. He needs that presence. It has its positives, but it also takes its toll on him, and sometimes I suspect that he's acting out because of frustration with a lot of these things in his life. His early life was very turbulent, with Heidi's divorce and the subsequent moving around, and he's doing very well, all things considered. There are still challenges for him and for us, though, and they're not simple ones.
I've been increasingly worried for Connor. In a positive way, he's really started to love coming over to our house for his weeks with us. This has been a wonderful change from the early hesitation he had. However, I think there's a negative aspect to this; from things he's mentioned to Heidi, it sounds like he's not getting a lot of attention when he's at his mom's, because they're very busy over there and so he ends up on his own quite a bit. I suspect that it doesn't help that he's the only male over there most of the time. Lisa does things with him, don't think I'm saying she's neglecting him, but she has a lot of other concerns, and Katie is very busy with her dance stuff, and his aunt Cyndi is very busy with work and is apparently working nights and sleeping days, and so he has to spend a lot of time doing his own thing. This isn't a good thing for any kid, and I don't want him to feel neglected, whether he is being neglected in fact or not.
We did have a great event over the holidays. Katie came over and actually spent the night with us for the first time in nearly a year. It was generally good but we had so many other things going on that it still had some challenges for us. Plus, Katie herself is getting older (she's 12 and a half now, and in full swing as a "tween") and has some issues of her own. It's really difficult for us with her age and her separation from me, because normally she would have me around more but we just can't seem to get into a good groove with her. Her visits have been good, but they seem more by rote or obligation. I know this is somewhat natural, again considering her age and how her life is now, but it's not any less difficult to accept and deal with.
Heidi herself is dealing with some issues of her own, as she looks around her, sees a lot of these causes for despair, and struggles mightily to fight off her own tendencies to become negative and to languish in these depressing situations. She takes so much of what happens in our home and in our lives straight to heart, and it hurts her mightily when she sees us unhappy. She admits that one of her greatest goals is to do things to help make us happy, and she takes it personally when other things still keep us down, despite her best efforts.
Life on the Board of Directors isn't exactly a picnic. We're doing some great things and generally the school is moving along very well. However, now that the school is 8 years old, we're moving from the "new school" model to the "maturing school" model and it's giving us some new issues Some of our scores are dropping, we had a member of the Board resign this week, citing some very specific and serious concerns, and there's a general malaise across our parent community that has resulted in a lot of clique-ishness and very little volunteerism and participation. We've had some parents who have been the real water carriers for the school for so long, and they're getting tired. In the meantime, we don't have new blood stepping up to start taking over some very important things. We had a small group of vocal parents who were moving but they have specific gripes of their own and have mostly ended their participation. In short, there are some things that need to change or the school is going to stagnate. We're losing critical energy and enthusiasm, and that's very troubling. I won't lie; several parents fault the Board for not leading properly, and I see that myself to a degree. I'm trying to make effort as much as possible in some areas where I might be able to help change things, but my own time is already so limited with two jobs, Masters classes, and minding my own house. I'm not complaining, but you can see how this contributes to the overall agenda of my life and my corresponding stress levels.
All of these things are making it difficult to maintain my focus at work, where life is getting more hardcore. We have some audits coming up soon and there's still a lot to be done in getting our operational house in order, so we're all pushed to the wall with deadlines and getting things accomplished. My regular times of having to handle small personal details at work, and the resulting distractions and constant reminders of all of the above challenges, make it extremely difficult to keep pounding away.
Life will improve, I know, and I'm still fighting, still working hard to keep things running smoothly. It's tough, though...especially when you wake up every day and those problems are still there with no end or improvement in sight. It's a long slog and can be very hard to maintain a positive, upbeat attitude and approach. We're not desperate, as the title of this post might indicate, but we do have a lot of big challenges ahead, and the new year, always so full of promise when as approach it, has not been too kind to this point. Hope springs eternal, though; just pray for us that God will continue to give us strength and patience, and that we will not lose our faith and hope in Him to lead, guide, protect, and bless us all. Personally I'm hoping for some real improvement in just one of the above areas, in the hopes that it would be a real turning point for us a and a catalyst for improvement in the other areas.
Thanks for reading along.
Thursday, January 03, 2008
I Almost Forgot The Most Important Thing
HUGE props to the West Virginia Mountaineers. They were focused and fired up, and they came to play. I don't think anyone seriously expected them to be as focused and ready as they were, and it showed. What a tremendous effort by their players, and especially quarterback Pat White. You guys really deserved the win. I still think OU probably would've won if they'd actually showed up for the game, but I do need to give credit where credit is due. Last year, OU managed to climb out of the hole and get beat by a rinky-dink team using the Pop Warner playbook. (I almost expected Boise State to come out this year using the Wing-T. How can anyone take a team that plays on that eye-straining blue field seriously?) But West Virginia came out, played their game, took it to OU in every area, and won straight up. No tricks, no BS (pardon the pun), just great football. West Virginia, you played a great game and showed exactly why you should have had a chance to play for the National Championship.
And that's the last thing I'm going to say about this.
And that's the last thing I'm going to say about this.
Another Year of Embarrassment
Yet again, I'm totally embarrassed and humiliated. Yet again, we didn't show up to play and looked like a bunch of kids fresh out of Pop Warner. I DON'T WANT ANOTHER F***ING BIG 12 CHAMPIONSHIP, BECAUSE THAT'S ALL WE SEEM TO GET, AND THAT'S NOT ALL THAT GREAT!!! Besides, if we can't do anything with it once we win it, I'd rather let someone else win it. Let Texas have it...at least Texas can win a F***ING BOWL GAME!! I'm tired of saying, "well, there's always next year." This just isn't fun any more. I have enough bad things going on in my life to WILLINGLY add another one.
So I'm done. I'm done with Sooner football for a long, long time. I'm tired of putting my heart and soul into something just to have my heart ripped out year after year. I have loved the Sooners for a long time, literally for as long as I can remember. But perhaps it's time for us both to see other people. All of my OU items (yes, all of it, even the OU pajama pants and "Sooner Magic" rubber wristbands that I JUST got for Christmas) are packed in a box and shoved into an out-of-the-way corner of the basement. Maybe one day I'll pull them back out again.
Any of you who know me personally know that this is not hyperbole, that I really do pour so much of myself into the Sooners. I always have. When I got my first stereo for my room, it was on my birthday, a September Saturday. So of course, the first thing I listened to on my new stereo was the day's OU game, with John Brooks making the call. I don't remember who they played but I remember listening to the game on my great new stereo. Even in the lean years of the mid to late 90s, I was still a huge fan. We bought a big-screen TV, just so we could watch the 2000 National Championship game on it. I have seen so many parallels between the way the Sooners have played over the last few years and the way my own life has gone, and it's been scary to see those parallels. I live and die by OU football. But sometimes, you have to reach a point where you say, "there are more worthwhile ways to expend my time and energy." Sometimes, you have to realize something is futile, and let it go. Perhaps I'll have a nice 8-month cooling-off period and everything will be back to normal (for me, at least) come August. Then again, maybe not. I do know that this will be my last OU football post for quite a while.
So I'm done. I'm done with Sooner football for a long, long time. I'm tired of putting my heart and soul into something just to have my heart ripped out year after year. I have loved the Sooners for a long time, literally for as long as I can remember. But perhaps it's time for us both to see other people. All of my OU items (yes, all of it, even the OU pajama pants and "Sooner Magic" rubber wristbands that I JUST got for Christmas) are packed in a box and shoved into an out-of-the-way corner of the basement. Maybe one day I'll pull them back out again.
Any of you who know me personally know that this is not hyperbole, that I really do pour so much of myself into the Sooners. I always have. When I got my first stereo for my room, it was on my birthday, a September Saturday. So of course, the first thing I listened to on my new stereo was the day's OU game, with John Brooks making the call. I don't remember who they played but I remember listening to the game on my great new stereo. Even in the lean years of the mid to late 90s, I was still a huge fan. We bought a big-screen TV, just so we could watch the 2000 National Championship game on it. I have seen so many parallels between the way the Sooners have played over the last few years and the way my own life has gone, and it's been scary to see those parallels. I live and die by OU football. But sometimes, you have to reach a point where you say, "there are more worthwhile ways to expend my time and energy." Sometimes, you have to realize something is futile, and let it go. Perhaps I'll have a nice 8-month cooling-off period and everything will be back to normal (for me, at least) come August. Then again, maybe not. I do know that this will be my last OU football post for quite a while.
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
Happy New Year!!
Happy New Year to all my readers. May 2008 find you more success and happiness than 2007 did.
In the meantime, here are a few interesting links and tidbits, all related to looking forward and looking backward. I thought that was pretty appropriate for the day. Enjoy!
Lawyer: Ripping MP3s Illegal, Grounds for Lawsuit
What the...? So, first, copying and sharing music is illegal. OK, I can understand that. But now, just copying it for your own personal use is illegal? What will you declare illegal next, listening to it? Another example of the content providers trying legal means to preserve their dying business model. History is replete with examples of businesses who tried to hold back the world via legal and/or governmental means and preserve a poor business model while social, economic, cultural, or (in this case) technological paradigms changed around them. It never works (See: passenger rail and the steel industry). The production and distribution of content, and how to make money from such production and distribution with today's rapidly changing production and distribution technology, is one of human society's big challenges. You might try to dictate how people want their content delivered to them, and what they do with it themselves once they have some control of its format, but you will fail. Your business model is already dying, as you obviously know from how vigorously you're prosecuting these "cases." You could continue to try to control your consumers, and run the risk of alienating them or worse, driving them even closer to the new media that you loathe so desperately. Or, you could be truly visionary and try to find a new way to make your business model work, to convert your old, stodgy, dying model into something brand new. The best companies have always been able to rework and reinvent themselves when need be. Nintendo, Chrysler (circa early 1980s under Iacocca), and Novell are prime examples. Some of the big recording industry companies are already getting this, which is great to see. Or, you can be Sony.
On a positive note, enjoy some great links to webcams around the world. One of the great things the Internet can do is bring other parts of the world straight to you immediately. Just check out the cool webcam for the Pyramids! That is awesome.
There are other great ways that the Internet brings people and places together. I was talking with Chong the other day while he was visiting, and I asked him how we looked anything up before the Internet. Let's say you want to find out how to clean an engine. You could call someone you knew might know the answer and might be willing to take some time to explain the procedure to you. Even then that person might accidentally leave out a crucial piece of information (like, "cover your electrical wires before you start" or "don't take out the spark plugs"), or they might tell you something wrong just because their experience was different. If you didn't know anyone, you might call a mechanic's shop and hope they'd help you. As a last resort, you could drive to the library and find a book or magazine article that would guide you through the process.
Today, you fire up your browser, go to Google, type in "how to clean an engine," and you have hundreds of links to howtos, discussion forums, manuals, and books that describe every part of the process in detail. You can even compare multiple links to each other and get a consensus on something like what type of chemicals to use or if water is necessary and so on. I have to admit, the new way is much better.
What about hobbies? You can find enthusiasts and resources for just about any pastime imaginable. Sure, sports, sci-fi, cars, quilting, scrapbooking...those are easy ones. Heidi herself enjoys meeting up with other new moms and baby-oriented groups. As you might recall, I used to be a HUGE Land Rover aficionado. Ten to fifteen years ago, I'd have to hunt around to find a local Rover club that met regularly so I could get the best information on how to keep the Rover running, or where to find parts. Even then, my experience would be limited to the experience of those in the club. Or I could find a Rover dealership (not as easy back then as it is today, now that Rover is owned by Ford) and get whatever help or parts I needed from them. Of course, many of you know how expensive parts from dealerships are, so this was often an expensive proposition, as well. I could try used parts from a salvage yard, but I had to hope they had the part I needed in reasonable shape. Today, if I need Rover parts I simply Google "Land Rover parts" and I can find as many sources as I like. I can even comparison-shop for the best price. I can look on eBay if a used part will do, and there's a good chance I can find the part in decent shape at a decent price. If I need some information on some obscure happening with my Rover engine, there are hundreds of Rover discussion forums and clubs online where I can just submit my question and have a decent answer (or many decent answers) within an hour or two at most. I can network with Rover fanatics not just locally, but around the world, many of them not only Rover enthusiasts but professional Rover mechanics with years of experience.
I ask again, how did we manage, doing things the old way? As we look forward again today, consider again where we have come from. Thanks for reading along.
In the meantime, here are a few interesting links and tidbits, all related to looking forward and looking backward. I thought that was pretty appropriate for the day. Enjoy!
Lawyer: Ripping MP3s Illegal, Grounds for Lawsuit
What the...? So, first, copying and sharing music is illegal. OK, I can understand that. But now, just copying it for your own personal use is illegal? What will you declare illegal next, listening to it? Another example of the content providers trying legal means to preserve their dying business model. History is replete with examples of businesses who tried to hold back the world via legal and/or governmental means and preserve a poor business model while social, economic, cultural, or (in this case) technological paradigms changed around them. It never works (See: passenger rail and the steel industry). The production and distribution of content, and how to make money from such production and distribution with today's rapidly changing production and distribution technology, is one of human society's big challenges. You might try to dictate how people want their content delivered to them, and what they do with it themselves once they have some control of its format, but you will fail. Your business model is already dying, as you obviously know from how vigorously you're prosecuting these "cases." You could continue to try to control your consumers, and run the risk of alienating them or worse, driving them even closer to the new media that you loathe so desperately. Or, you could be truly visionary and try to find a new way to make your business model work, to convert your old, stodgy, dying model into something brand new. The best companies have always been able to rework and reinvent themselves when need be. Nintendo, Chrysler (circa early 1980s under Iacocca), and Novell are prime examples. Some of the big recording industry companies are already getting this, which is great to see. Or, you can be Sony.
On a positive note, enjoy some great links to webcams around the world. One of the great things the Internet can do is bring other parts of the world straight to you immediately. Just check out the cool webcam for the Pyramids! That is awesome.
There are other great ways that the Internet brings people and places together. I was talking with Chong the other day while he was visiting, and I asked him how we looked anything up before the Internet. Let's say you want to find out how to clean an engine. You could call someone you knew might know the answer and might be willing to take some time to explain the procedure to you. Even then that person might accidentally leave out a crucial piece of information (like, "cover your electrical wires before you start" or "don't take out the spark plugs"), or they might tell you something wrong just because their experience was different. If you didn't know anyone, you might call a mechanic's shop and hope they'd help you. As a last resort, you could drive to the library and find a book or magazine article that would guide you through the process.
Today, you fire up your browser, go to Google, type in "how to clean an engine," and you have hundreds of links to howtos, discussion forums, manuals, and books that describe every part of the process in detail. You can even compare multiple links to each other and get a consensus on something like what type of chemicals to use or if water is necessary and so on. I have to admit, the new way is much better.
What about hobbies? You can find enthusiasts and resources for just about any pastime imaginable. Sure, sports, sci-fi, cars, quilting, scrapbooking...those are easy ones. Heidi herself enjoys meeting up with other new moms and baby-oriented groups. As you might recall, I used to be a HUGE Land Rover aficionado. Ten to fifteen years ago, I'd have to hunt around to find a local Rover club that met regularly so I could get the best information on how to keep the Rover running, or where to find parts. Even then, my experience would be limited to the experience of those in the club. Or I could find a Rover dealership (not as easy back then as it is today, now that Rover is owned by Ford) and get whatever help or parts I needed from them. Of course, many of you know how expensive parts from dealerships are, so this was often an expensive proposition, as well. I could try used parts from a salvage yard, but I had to hope they had the part I needed in reasonable shape. Today, if I need Rover parts I simply Google "Land Rover parts" and I can find as many sources as I like. I can even comparison-shop for the best price. I can look on eBay if a used part will do, and there's a good chance I can find the part in decent shape at a decent price. If I need some information on some obscure happening with my Rover engine, there are hundreds of Rover discussion forums and clubs online where I can just submit my question and have a decent answer (or many decent answers) within an hour or two at most. I can network with Rover fanatics not just locally, but around the world, many of them not only Rover enthusiasts but professional Rover mechanics with years of experience.
I ask again, how did we manage, doing things the old way? As we look forward again today, consider again where we have come from. Thanks for reading along.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)